on the way to swimming today

was thinking a lot about how God makes himself vulnerable to us. It’s kind of an obsession because I find it pretty mad given our general track record. I’m pretty obsessed actually with God’s constant belief in us as humans, from his gift of free choice to the gift of his son. He’s outrageously generous to us.

There’s that old joke about how parents should have a license before they’re given consent to procreate. Today I realised for the first time that our ability to have children is not just a banal biological fact of our species but it actually a gift from God. It hit me with such intensity that God would trust us with a baby. If I have the tiniest speck of love for Theresa I cannot fathom the kind of love God has for her, and why on earth would he trust me with her? I was thinking that I’ve never seen such beauty and sin in myself as I have since I’ve had a child. In some ways probably a unique view from God’s perpective.

It breaks my heart the depth of trust and the terrible risks that he takes with us. I pray that every day he gives us grace to set our hearts and minds to this awesome task, that in us our children would see at least a small reflection of the love God has for us.

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